my life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes
I hid all my roommates shoes in the bathroom and he had to go to class barefoot so now he’s really angry at me and he says he’s gonna get revenge
this has gone too far
I guess you could say, revenge is sweet
NOO THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR CLEVER PUNS NO
i was cuddling this guy once n he had his head on my chest n just whispered “what did you just think about?” and i went “netflix” becus i was thinkin about netflix and he just went
"oh. your heart sped up and i… ok"
straight sex is so weird
I’m thankful for all the different ways I can eat potatoes
Everyone reblog this can’t this is perfect
Out of these 454k notes how many of them waited for the number to reach to zero?
ALL OF THEM
double standards disgust me. when a guy sleeps with a ton of women he’s a stud but when a girl sleeps with a ton of women she’s a lesbian
That was not the way I expected that sentence to end.
one time i was in brooklyn and i saw all these black scary guys wearing a red bandanas and i said “i think they’re a gang” to my little sister and then the leader was like “MAN WE AINT NO GANG WE’RE AN A CAPELLA GROUP.”
im gonna do that thing where u message someone randomly asking for ur sandals back ill keep u guys updated
oh my god
people are so nICE ABOUT THIS
things have taken a dramatic turn
dammit my cover is blown
PEOPLE ARE WAY TO NICE ABOUT MY NON EXISTENT SANDALS
IM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE
i remember i was singing a song that requires a boy and a girl and forgot that my window was open so when the part where the guy sang thERE WAS A GUY RIGHT OUT OF MY HOUSE, SITTING ON THE GRASS AND SINGING ALONG WITH ME.